Answered Prayers
Today my sweet Zane turned nine. As parents do, I remembered the first time I held him. He was such a sweet baby. Greg and I were overwhelmed with love for our little five pound bundle of joy.
I knew immediately that he was special. I brushed my hand through his hair while I held him. I prayed that Zane would have a personality that no one would forget. I prayed that people would love and care for him as much as I did. I prayed that GOD would use Zane in his kingdom. I prayed I would be worthy to mother him.
Nine years of joy. Nine years of pain. Nine years of answered prayers though not always as I would have liked. Zane is special but not as I would have wished. He is Autistic.
Zane is loved by many people, some I have never met. Because we cannot, other people help him with homework, put him to bed and read him stories. Tonight he climbs into his bed, sleepy from the party, and someone else brushes her hand through his hair. Zane is loved and cared for but not as I had imagined.
Zane is being used in his Father’s kingdom. We all are. Used in ways I could never have dreamed. Used in ways I would not have chosen- but trusting that our GOD knows best.
Tonight Zane cried as I held him. “I just want to be with you Mom!” My heart broke into a million pieces. No words could comfort him- or me. I prayed that GOD would please comfort both of us. Peace, please LORD… Zane calmed down. I calmed down. We began to feel…peaceful. GOD anwered my prayer- better than I had imagined.
amandasandersblog
Wow. I’m trying to be a “real man” and fight back the tears.
I assure you, God is using you both in powerful ways.
Glad to see you blogging!
Ditto!
Welcome to the mix!
Oh, Amanda, my heart broke in a million pieces too. I think that you are an amazing mom and wonderful person. I pray for you and your family daily. God’s strength and peace is the only way we can survive. I pray that you are wrapped in peace, today and always.
Amanda, you are the epitome of strength and faith. We love you so much, and as Noreen said are praying for you daily.
I will admit I was not much of a man, whatever that means, I teared up. If you ever need anything, even a shoulder to lean on, call us anytime.
p.s. I am happy to link to you too.
That was powerful Amanda. My heart broke for you and Zane when I read that. My sweet niece is Autistic and I can’t help but wonder if the day will come when my sister will have to make the same decision you have made. It may not, but then again, it could.
I admire your strength. Welcome to “Blogworld.”
I love you and am so proud of you. We all gain strength from you, and our help does come from God. Even though you advised it was sad, I had to read it. Zane is my little hero. You did a wonderful job. I love you. mom
Amanda,
I am so glad that you and Zane were able to share that time together with each other and with family. I am also glad that you shared that with me and others. It goes to show just how much God has truly blessed each one of us when we look beyond our daily struggles. He is so precious and I believe that God has his own special plan for him.
Sharla
Amanda, your blog seems like a gift to the rest of us and I’m so glad that you’re sharing your story. Thank you!
Oh, my goodness! I am so thankful for the kind words.
I can’t believe you all read my blog and posted. (I really thought my mom would be the only one to read)
May GOD bless you all, more than you can imagine..