In my dreams I am Peggy Lee.  Blond, thin and poised.  Smooth in heels.  Exuding sexiness and control.  Singing and waltzing to a background band at the Copacabana. (They move with me throughout the day. I am never unaccompanied)
In reality I am average height, overly endowed and a smidgen to the right of pleasingly plump. I stumble [...]