New Year’s Eve party in your future? If so, this year I suggest you make yourself memorable. Anyone can be respectable or even a drunken boor, but of whom can it really be said “I will never forget this night because of you”. Be that “you”.

Here’s how: 

1. Toilet Paper Icebreaker!People love toilet paper. Walk up to anyone and say “I have six roles of Angel soft, unscented with Aloe toilet paper. You have two minutes to turn me into a snow man. Go!” (Speaking with a British accent makes this even more fun. So try that.)I guarantee you will have more fun on your hands than you know what to do with and so will your friends, new and old.

2. I’ll Drink To That.  Ask random strangers if they want to share a toast. Fill paper ketchup cups from McDonald’s with mustard, one for you and your drinking buddy. ( Be sure to pull the mustard bottle from your coat pocket with a dramatic flourish. Act shifty while all of this is taking place. It will make the mustard go down smoother.) No one will forget the person that introduced them to Mustard Shots.

3.  Oh, This Old Thing?  Wear something fabulous… then put something else fabulous over that. Don lots of clothes. Six, maybe seven shirts and three pairs of pants for starters. Look,  everyone else will be showing skin in minis skirts and tight tank tops. Let’s face it, if you’ve seen two you’ve really seen them all. Yawn. Do something fresh! Cover yourself from head to toe. Think sequins! Before you leave home, check the mirror. Add two things. You will be talked about for months to come!  

4.  Just Dance.  Dance all the time, but especially when someone looks in your direction. I mean get it! Dance like you are trying out for a scholarship to Julliard so you can finally quit that night welding job you took after your were left a penniless orphan by a distant but kindly Aunt.

Dance like you are thirty years old,  pretending to be a high school senior in a Disney musical. Use lots of hand gestures. Make faces that look like you are hovering between ecstasy and constipation. Don’t worry about the haters. View all guests as extras in your own private music video. Remember, they are all there to support you, the star.

No music at your party? No problem. You don’t need music Baby, you are the music!

5. No Names. Normally it would be rude to make no effort to learn other guests names…but  Honey there is nothing normal about you tonight!  Just address everyone as “People”. Lumping all your fellow party goers under this title will actually bring them together. Making them feel as though they are just part of the crowd. It will be a unifying experience for them. Trust me, it will make you memorable.

6. Be Helpful.  I like to be of use when attending a party. Don’t you? One way to be helpful to your host is to do little chores that she would normally have to do herself. This will set you apart as a good guest and be sure to secure an invitation to next year’s party.  Offer to make her bed. If it’s already all pretty and neat, mess it up. Then make sure she sees you working hard to make those hospital corners.

Walk her dog. Don’t ask, just take the dog. Just put her dog on  a leash and take him for a walk around town in the middle of the party.  If someone asks where you are going with the dog, just smile and slyly show your mustard bottle. People love inside jokes, even if they aren’t on the inside.  

Or maybe you feel more comfortable doing some house hold task like cleaning the toilet.  I think this would be very helpful (and memorable) if you scrubbed the bathroom from top to bottom. Make sure to leave the door open and comment on how dirty it was before you began. Resist her attempts to persuade you to put away the cleaning supplies.

Let your conscience be your guide. See a need, fill a need. (You could say that when someone walks by the bathroom door too!)

7.  Taboo Subjects Welcome!Everybody knows that the key to a great party is conflict. Lots and lots of conflict peppered with awkward silences, actually. This is the time to bring up politics, religion and anything else you avoided talking about last year.  Some folks don’t know this secret key to having a provocative party. They may resist such banter. Persist friend! Come 2010, no one will have trouble remembering your name.

Happy New Year!!