More or Less
Today I was a victim of peer pressure. (Dramatic Pause for effect)
I was minding my own business, trying out cute necklaces in a store when I was accosted by a sales woman. She confidently barreled up to me, looked down her nose through her glasses and demanded “TELL ME you have a STORE card.”
Now I am a recovering people pleaser and my first instinct was to say “Yes Mam! I have been tagged and checked. You own me- heart, soul, and bank account! Thank you for letting me shop in your name brand department store!” but I didn’t. Instead I took a step back to let her know that she had invaded my personal space and said “I do not have a store card. I do not want a store card. Thank you.” She blinked and inhaled what appeared to be the last oxygen left in the store. “Really.” she spit. It wasn’t a question, but more of a pronounced declaration of my unworthiness to be in her presence.
She turned then to the poor woman looking at earrings beside me. “Surely YOU have a Store Card.” The woman, clearly well indoctrinated said “I DO and I LOVE IT!”. They smiled at each other the way two people in love often do. Miss Manager turned to me and looked me over from head to toe. Summing up her assessment she said “Harrumph”, then walked away. (Okay, honestly, I didn’t know people really did that! I thought that was just something writers threw into books to make a point.)
I stood there feeling…bad. The rational part of my brain knows I don’t have a Store Card because I don’t want one. I choose not to participate. Plain and simple. The emotional part of my brain wanted to be defensive and pouty. Maybe even a little spiteful. (Fantasizing about handing my sweater to her and saying “I am sorry to have bothered you. I just realized I am not good enough to shop in your store. Be a dear and put this back for me. ) Okay, that would have been really spiteful! The fact that I could be so easily bruised it the problem. Not the Store Manager. I allowed for my exchange with her to leave me feeling less. Less than worthy, less than adequate, less than everyone else in the store.
Here the truth of the matter, I am not less. Despite my refusal to buy into a store credit card, a newer car, a bigger house, more stuff and even more stuff that I don’t need, I am not “less”. My value does not lie in ability to accumulate ”stuff”. My value and yours, lies in the Eyes of the One who made us and loves us ridiculously. God thinks I rock, just for who I am. He thinks you rock too, even if you don’t have a fancy store card!
So today’s lesson: Don’t let the world make you feel “less”, for you are worth far MORE to the Creator of the Universe. And you can quote me on that!
amandasandersblog
Well, I have to admit that I did the spiteful thing in a similar situation while registering for our wedding. The rather snooty sales lady was aghast that I wasn’t registering for china and crystal. I eventually told her that my parents were “taking care” of all my tableware. That impressed her enough to get her off my back. The problem was I didn’t tell her that my parents owned a store that sold my pattern of stoneware I had picked out!!! And people bought it from their store. Still love and use the stoneware and have now inherited three sets of china – smart decision, Jenn!!!!
I’m like you and don’t want or need any more stuff, but at my age I’ve learned to be very confident about my choices and decisions. Just because everyone else has a ’store card’ or whatever else, often makes me NOT want one. I have to be really careful that I don’t think I’m better! Good post and something to think on!
Jennifer- Ugh. I am not alone! I can’t believe how yucky that can make us feel. On the upside, every unfortunate incident is a blog post in disguise, right? ; )
Karin- I can so relate! Thanks for sharing.
Actually, that woman was a greedy weezer who was hoping you had a store card so she could make some extra bucks I bet. You should have just complimented her on her wig and walked away.
John that’s amazing! How did you know she had a wig on? ; )
This happens to me… probably every time I go into a store that has a store card. Except this is what I get
“Did you find everything you need?” yes thank you I did. “Do you have a …. card?” no thank you I do not. “Why not?” I don’t want one. “What? Oh if you get one today it will save you 10%, you can pay it off as you soon as you buy something” no thanks I do not want one. “If you but it today it will save you 10%..” yes you said that already. And then on and on we go. I have gotten to the point where I avoid all said store clerks and thank the ones that don’t push it when I say “no.” Good story.
Laura- I think that the high pressure tactics have gotten worse since the recession. Although there are exceptions to every rule, I don’t remember there ever being as much aggresiveness as there is now. Stay strong Sister! You’re not alone, I don’t have them either. : )