Naughty Snow
Today my children and I ventured out in six inches of snow to buy groceries. Now, where you live, six inches may not be enough to even register on the winter Richter scale, but where I live that’s a lot of snow. The roads were still pretty slick and ice covered so I was driving cautiously and concentrating on the road. When suddenly, something big, white and shiny caught my eye. I turned to look and there, in the yard of a neighbor, stood the biggest penis I have ever seen. It was almost six feet tall, three feet wide and made entirely out of snow. Accompanying this giant phallus was a pair of three foot, round testicles. It was so anatomically correct that I cannot even begin to describe it out of decency.
My children, admiring the snow and magical quality it cast upon our street, did not miss Mr. Frosty. “MOM! What is that?” my Kindergartner screeched. I did what any respectable parent would do in that situation- I lied. “Well, son, I think it’s an ice cream cone.” I said driving past the house more quickly than was safe.
All the way to Wal Mart I thought about that giant penis. The skill it took to create such an accurate representation of male genitalia was honestly astounding. It must have taken hours to build and team spirit mankind hasn’t known since the Tower of Babel construction fiasco.
The police made them remove the naughty snow sculpture awhile later. I am chalking their scupture up to bad judgement. Honestly, they have mad skills. It took planning and off the charts spatial skills combined with an artistic flair to create Cold Stony. So maybe I will stop in for a chat this week. Maybe challenge them to create an equally astounding snow project- without the Hustler feel! Something we could ALL look at without cringing or crashing.
Don’t you wish you were my neighbor? ; )
amandasandersblog
Mister Rogers is turning over in his grave.
Amanda, that is absolutely so funny! So they bought the “ice cream cone” answer? You’re quick! THanks for sharing!
Oh Mandy, I am still cracking up about this new “monument”.
Unfortunately, *my* kids would probably have known right away what it was…. and probably would have rushed home to try their hands at making their own. Hmmph. Boys.
Paula- I think they definetly were “making the most of this beautiful day” as Mr. Rogers liked to croon about.
Laura- They appear to have bought it, although with Zeke you can never tell. He will likely tell Greg tomorrow “Guess what we saw yesterday? A GIANT PENIS and Mom didn’t even know what it was!”
Sarah Jane- Won’t you be my neighbor? ; )
Karen- LOL! For some reason it just seems fitting that some little boys would do that…mid twenties women not so much. : )
Snow “parts” can get you in trouble. At Christmas the boys and I made a snowman. I thought it’d be cool to make the snowman into a snow-woman, besides, I’d never made a snow-woman. Lea came out, shook her head and gave me “the look.” I immediately took “them” off.
’nuff said.
Amanda, you make everything so humorous!
Trey – Now that I’ve gotten over the shock, I’m dying laughing. You really thought it would be okay? LOL! I can just see Lea shaking her head. (Sounds like a future blog post!)
NB – I promise, you won’t see this story on my blog
Ha! Hilarious!