SML #3: Ugly Babies
Moms LOVE ugly babies. We can’t help it. Their little squashed heads, big ears and lopsided eyes just melt our hearts. Don’t they?
I think God designed us Moms to love ugly babies because the world can be a cold, harsh place for a newborn with a black uni-brow and coating of back hair thick enough to braid. We don’t see it…okay, we see it. BUT ouur overwhelming love for our children and deep unshakeable faith in God allows us to gloss over those oddities with an abundance of love.
Not everyone shares our rosy view. Unfortunately, some old crazy, excuse me “impaired” Aunt is always waiting in the delivery room with a magnifying glass to inspect and pass judgement on our brand new offspring. She can’t wait to point out the teenage worthy acne break out and any toes that are slightly (or extremely) longer than the others.
Once we maneuver past the Crazy Aunts, the whole wide world awaits our ugly baby’s debut into society or the local Target, whichever comes first. Those early tentative outings with an Ugly Baby or UGB for short are stressful for Mom. People are drawn to brand spanking new humans like moths to a flame. They want to bring that ship into the shore and share their thoughts on your bundle of joy. They can’t fight that feelin’ anymore, like a classic REO Speedwagon song.
Here is a quick way to decode a stranger’s remarks about your UGB:
“Wow. He sure is big”- That kid is freakishly large. Probably has a thyroid condition. How will they ever afford to feed him? Better add them to our family prayer list.
“I am sure she will be smart”- Hmm… given her family genetics and tendency to drool excessively when propped on her left side, I hope she is a genius. She’ll have to be to ever fit in society. Let’s add them to our prayer list.
“He has great lungs!”- OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS. No child should turn that color when he cries. Ever. That scared me. I am seriously scared. Check Please!
“Is her head supposed to look like that?” - Somebody get a doctor over here! I didn’t even know that was possible. This kid is destined for the circus. Right? Can you ever be President with a misshaped noggin like that? Not in America, Buddy. That’s just sad.
“We dealt with UGB syndrome too” – This will pass. Come Toddlerhood your Baby will be the cutest one in preschool. I promise. All these people who declare that baby ugly and scary looking now, will come and repent. They weep at the sight of that beautiful, athletic child someday and you will forgive them… and add them to your prayer list…because you are a Saint my friend.
Anyone want to admit to having an Ugly Baby that grew into a Beautiful Child or am I the only one?
amandasandersblog
My babies were beautiful, all 3 of them. I have observed, however, that sometimes people who are really good-looking as adults were really ugly babies. I don’t know how that happens. Total transformation.
In one of the sonogram pictures, my baby had his eyes open. Creeped me out completely. Looked like an alien baby. But he was born bea-utiful!!!!
Our kids were not beautiful as such, but certainly not ugly … and I’ve seen some UGLY babies! It’s hard to be a preacher and have to lie to new mothers about how pretty their offspring is when you know it ain’t so.
I think the C-sections help a lot. Grandbabies were beautiful, though the g-daughter went through a few months of being quite the porker! She’s slimmed down now and is pretty as they come. But that’s just a father / grandfather opinion.
One of my children (I won’t tell which) came out looking just like my great-grandpa Horace (when he was about 80).
It’s interesting how much newborns and the elderly have in common, feature wise. Good point Paula. : )