Moms love to give their kids a Sonic Boom sounding kiss. The kind of deafening kiss that ricochets off the walls and bursts your ear drums if you are not the one administering or receiving said kiss. Moms rock at this.

I can’t really describe what it sounds like since there are so many variations. It all depends on the size of the smooched area, wind speed, humidity levels, mood of the mother, squirming of the object of affection. There are just too many variables. I bet you know what I am writing about though. It’s that kiss that results from an overflowing of joy and love that makes you charge your children like a wild bear after it’s prey. Except the Black Bear eats what it’s after, we just want to give our prey a big, loud kiss. So really, nothing alike at all. Moving on… 

Not every one is a fan of the  Sonic Boom Smooch. I know, it’s shocking. My husband is one such individual. This came to light while pregnant with our first baby. Sitting in an overcrowded obstetrician’s office, the woman next to us was mauling her sweet baby with ear shattering kisses. My husband leaned over and said ”My Eternal Love, when thou bears the first sired son of the Sanders tribe, wilst thou refrain from making those loud kissing noises upon his wondrous fleshy cheeks? My stomach becomes overwrot at the sound and I fear retching.” I replied “Of course I can not promise suchmy Eternal Love. Tis my job as Mother.” (This may not have been exactly the way it all went down, but it’s how I chose to remember it) Never having been a fan of recieving such messy loud kisses, he assumes others don’t like them either. 

I believe, however, there is a time and place for The Sonic Boom Kiss. Here are a few of my personal guidelines for it’s use: 

1. When a regular kiss just won’t do-  Sometimes we just need to bring the big guns of parental love. We know when it needs to come out… and aren’t afraid to causing hearing impairment to those around us to get that kid’s frown turned upside down. Examples: Illness, lost family pet, good report card, bad report card.

2. Cute pajamas- Mom’s are suckers for kids dressed in cute pj’s, aren’t we. Dinosaurs, stars, and primary colors are like Kryptonite to us. We lose all self control and snatch them up out of their Thomas the Tank Engine slippers for a kiss.

3. Relational Issues- Sibling Rivalry, Friendship ups and downs all require a Sonic Boom Kiss.

4. Graduation from ANYTHING- If someone is capable of graduating from something, I can guarantee you there will a be a mom there to blow out the sound system by her display of affection.

So what about you? When do you bring out the Sonic Boom Kiss to plant on your children?