I was minding my own business, trying out cute necklaces in a store when I was accosted by a sales woman. She confidently barreled up to me, looked down her nose through her glasses and demanded “TELL ME you have a STORE card.”

Now I am a recovering people pleaser and my first instinct was to say “Yes Mam! I have been tagged and checked. You own me- heart, soul, and bank account! Thank you for letting me shop in your name brand department store!” but I didn’t. Instead I took a step back to let her know that she had invaded my personal space and said “I do not have a store card. I do not want a store card. Thank you.” She blinked and inhaled what appeared to be the last oxygen left in the store. “Really.”  she spit. It wasn’t a question, but more of a pronounced declaration of my unworthiness to be in her presence. 

She turned then to the poor woman looking at earrings beside me. “Surely YOU have a Store Card.” The woman, clearly well indoctrinated said “I DO and I LOVE IT!”. They smiled at each other the way two people in love often do. Miss Manager turned to me and looked me over from head to toe. Summing up her assessment she said “Harrumph”, then walked away. (Okay, honestly, I didn’t know people really did that! I thought that was just something writers threw into books to make a point.)

I stood there feeling…bad. The rational part of my brain knows  I don’t have a Store Card because I don’t want one. I choose not to participate. Plain and simple. The emotional part of my brain wanted to be defensive and pouty. Maybe even a little spiteful. (Fantasizing about handing my sweater to her and saying “I am sorry to have bothered you. I just realized I am not good enough to shop in your store. Be a dear and put this back for me. ) Okay, that would have been really spiteful! The fact that I could be so easily bruised it the problem. Not the Store Manager. I allowed for my exchange with her to leave me feeling less. Less than worthy, less than adequate, less than everyone else in the store.

Here the truth of the matter, I am not less. Despite my refusal to buy into a store credit card, a newer car, a bigger house, more stuff and even more stuff that I don’t need, I am not “less”.  My value does not lie in ability to accumulate  ”stuff”. My value and yours, lies in the Eyes of the One who made us and  loves us ridiculously. God thinks I rock, just for who I am. He thinks you rock too, even if you don’t have a fancy store card!

So today’s lesson: Don’t let the world make you feel “less”, for you are worth far MORE to the Creator of the Universe.  And you can quote me on that!

Picture it, Sanders family living room. 8:35 p.m. give or take a minute. A beautiful young mother, played by me, languishing on the couch between a bright four year old wearing backward Diego underwear and a determined six year old wiggling a loose tooth. In the recliner, The Man, played by Greg, weilding all power known to human kind via the television remote. All was calm. Nothing would lead one to believe that the peaceful evening was about to be destroyed by SEX!!

On the television was a Sanders family favorite, America’s Funniest Home Videos. A safe, family friendly show with just the right amount of cute and cuddly mixed in with funny. Not to mention a valuable teaching tool. Where else can one see so many examples of humans trying things that clearly will not work and thereby having their booties spanked by gravity? Really, it’s a perfect time to say to our kids “Wow. Did that look like a good idea to you?”. 

But I digresss… Cut to the televised scene of a gorgeous pristine bride and groom armed with wedding cake. They make no pretences of trying to delicately feed each other that ceremonial first slice. Instead they go for broke. What erupts is a brawl worthy of UFC not AFV! They wrestled to the ground and ruined their clothes. Did I mention they were each clearly mad by the end of the clip? I, being an armchair therapist, declared to my husband “I give that marriage  a year- tops. What are they going to do now?” .  “I know what they are going to now, S-E-X!” exclaimed our six year old.

Whoa. You know I always thought that whole time going in slow motion during a catastrophe was a figure of speech. Turns out, it’s not! Greg and I looked at each other in the way that parents do when they realize their babies are no longer…babies. Sadness, shock, and a healthy dose of “Oh MY GOODNESS! Did he really just say that?!” passed between us without a spoken word. 

Now we had to think fast. Our four year old has a habit of taking everything his older brother says and preaching it far and wide. He also places himself prominently in all of the stories. My mind was racing with how this could play out with Zack…” Last night, Mommy and Daddy were watching this show, yeah, and then the people got on the ground and rolled around in cake. Yeah, that’s right. Then Zeke and I was covered in, covered in cake and I said “What are they going to do Zekey” and Zekey said “Have SEX!”. Yeah, that’s what happened and I had cake all over my clothes and Mommy made me put on my pajamas.”…That’s where his version of the events could easily go.

Quickly, I said “Zeke we will talk about this tomorrow okay? Bedtime.”  So off to bed they went, despite a bit of weeping and gnashing of teeth.  Once we were alone, Greg and I immediately turned off AFV and began to brainstorm. Which, honestly, was more like an adult version of Rock, Paper, Scissors with loser explaining “the situation” to Zeke. I lost. Lucky me!

Now, I am not going to go into all I said. For your sake and mine I will spare you the embarrassment. However, I will share a few highlights from Zeke’s end of the conversation.

“Maybe you shouldn’t be telling me this Mom.”

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?”

“There is no way that would work! Are YOU SURE?”

“Is this going to be over soon. I really want to play my DS.”

And my favorite “This is a joke. Right? It’s a joke..”

All in all it went well, God was with me and I was grateful. This conversation was only the first in a series, open dialog. I will admit, now that we have had three (count em) conversations in three weeks, I find it’s way more comfortable, for both of us. (Um who knew kids had so many questions about sex? ) Still, growing up is hard! For all parties involved. Thanks for reading and if you bump into Zack sometime soon…well, you have been warned!

See, engaging her in conversation has been my objective for the last six months.  I visit that car wash twice a month at least. She has been there every single time. Thus we have had over twelve encounters… and not one has gone in a way that I felt good about.

Not once has she smiled or responded to my attempts to comment on the weather. (Or anything else!)  In fact, the more I try reaching out to her the more disgusted she seems by me. Repelled.  I can feel her anger as she shoves that little car wash token down in my palm.”Thank you!” I say cheerfully. She looks at me with a look that could only be described only as withering and stomps off.  Still, I keep coming back. Hoping that she will be there so we can try again. Holding out for one good encounter. One smile. Something!

Why do I care?

I have asked myself this question too. Usually when I am driving away from the car wash. Many times I have vowed to never again enter that parking lot.  Yet every two weeks I find myself wheeling into the parking lot.  So why do I keep going back? Because I care.

I care because she is sad. It’s written right there all over her face and across her slumped shoulders. I care because she needs God. So I keep going back and trying to connect with someone who is clearly not interested in being connected with me.  Because in the end it has little to do with us, and everything to do with me and God. He always comes back for me, I need to go back for her.

Today though, on Try Number 13, something amazing happened. I pulled up to the automated doors of the car wash and said a prayer. There on the other side, I saw her peering out with a disgruntled look on her face. She raised the doors and began to wave me inside. While trying to drive on to the automatic conveyor belt that pulls the car the wash I noticed she was soaking wet. It would be next to impossible not to be with her job. The temperature was hovering at around twenty. She was shaking…and angry.

I took my token and smiled. She stomped away. End of story. Until, I got to the end of the wash and was ready to pull back onto the highway. There on my seat was a brand new bag of Hot Hands, magical little warming packets that you can put into your pockets to warm up cold extremities. Suddenly it hit me! Take her some Hot Hands! 

I turned the car around. Then went to every door nervously knocking and asking God for courage. The longer I knocked on the door the more scared I got. What if she thinks I am crazy? What if she is calling the police on me right now for trespassing? My mind was running wild with all kinds of worse case scenarios…

Finally she came to the door. By this point I was shaking from the cold and certain that I had made a terrible mistake. “What do you need?” she asked. “Um..Nothing. I just wanted you to have these. I thought you might be cold.” I stammered. She took them and said…nothing. Not a word. But you know what?

She SMILED the most beautiful smile ever!  End of story.

Here’s how: 

1. Toilet Paper Icebreaker!People love toilet paper. Walk up to anyone and say “I have six roles of Angel soft, unscented with Aloe toilet paper. You have two minutes to turn me into a snow man. Go!” (Speaking with a British accent makes this even more fun. So try that.)I guarantee you will have more fun on your hands than you know what to do with and so will your friends, new and old.

2. I’ll Drink To That.  Ask random strangers if they want to share a toast. Fill paper ketchup cups from McDonald’s with mustard, one for you and your drinking buddy. ( Be sure to pull the mustard bottle from your coat pocket with a dramatic flourish. Act shifty while all of this is taking place. It will make the mustard go down smoother.) No one will forget the person that introduced them to Mustard Shots.

3.  Oh, This Old Thing?  Wear something fabulous… then put something else fabulous over that. Don lots of clothes. Six, maybe seven shirts and three pairs of pants for starters. Look,  everyone else will be showing skin in minis skirts and tight tank tops. Let’s face it, if you’ve seen two you’ve really seen them all. Yawn. Do something fresh! Cover yourself from head to toe. Think sequins! Before you leave home, check the mirror. Add two things. You will be talked about for months to come!  

4.  Just Dance.  Dance all the time, but especially when someone looks in your direction. I mean get it! Dance like you are trying out for a scholarship to Julliard so you can finally quit that night welding job you took after your were left a penniless orphan by a distant but kindly Aunt.

Dance like you are thirty years old,  pretending to be a high school senior in a Disney musical. Use lots of hand gestures. Make faces that look like you are hovering between ecstasy and constipation. Don’t worry about the haters. View all guests as extras in your own private music video. Remember, they are all there to support you, the star.

No music at your party? No problem. You don’t need music Baby, you are the music!

5. No Names. Normally it would be rude to make no effort to learn other guests names…but  Honey there is nothing normal about you tonight!  Just address everyone as “People”. Lumping all your fellow party goers under this title will actually bring them together. Making them feel as though they are just part of the crowd. It will be a unifying experience for them. Trust me, it will make you memorable.

6. Be Helpful.  I like to be of use when attending a party. Don’t you? One way to be helpful to your host is to do little chores that she would normally have to do herself. This will set you apart as a good guest and be sure to secure an invitation to next year’s party.  Offer to make her bed. If it’s already all pretty and neat, mess it up. Then make sure she sees you working hard to make those hospital corners.

Walk her dog. Don’t ask, just take the dog. Just put her dog on  a leash and take him for a walk around town in the middle of the party.  If someone asks where you are going with the dog, just smile and slyly show your mustard bottle. People love inside jokes, even if they aren’t on the inside.  

Or maybe you feel more comfortable doing some house hold task like cleaning the toilet.  I think this would be very helpful (and memorable) if you scrubbed the bathroom from top to bottom. Make sure to leave the door open and comment on how dirty it was before you began. Resist her attempts to persuade you to put away the cleaning supplies.

Let your conscience be your guide. See a need, fill a need. (You could say that when someone walks by the bathroom door too!)

7.  Taboo Subjects Welcome!Everybody knows that the key to a great party is conflict. Lots and lots of conflict peppered with awkward silences, actually. This is the time to bring up politics, religion and anything else you avoided talking about last year.  Some folks don’t know this secret key to having a provocative party. They may resist such banter. Persist friend! Come 2010, no one will have trouble remembering your name.

Happy New Year!!

On that  game, there was a chance to earn extra men. Now, if you were alive back in those days you understand what a blessing extra men were. For those were the days of real video sportsmanship! Three strikes and you were out…no matter how close you were to beating the game and rescuing the princess…unless you could get those extra men. In fact, playground lore held that beating the Dragon and rescuing the real Princess, was impossible without doing just that! 

Needless to say, as soon as we owned a Nintendo, an obsessive compulsive drive overtook me in which eating, sleeping, and chores must come second to obtaining those fabled extra men. (If there was an Olympic sport for obsessiveness, eight year old Mandy Sikes would have medal-ed. Gold all the way. )

While I enjoyed these extra chances, I hated the uncertainty of how many men I really had since the total of “lives” was denoted by a symbol paired with a number. Did I have thirty men or 13? Should I try for more or go on to face the dreaded Dragon at the end of the game? How many were enough? The ambiguity of where I stood always ruined the fun for me. I couldn’t bear not knowing exactly where I stood in the game. More times than not, I let my fear of the unknown destroy contentment and joy of the game.

The part of me who despised uncertainty at eight hates it even more so at thirty three.  To compound the turmoil, twenty one years down the road, my life holds more uncertainty than I can shake a stick at. ( Bet yours does too.)  So where am I going with this story?

My dog is dying. Last night was spent listening to her struggle to breath.  An ominous rattle set in around 1:30 a.m.  and for the next five hours I just sat beside her. Keeping vigil I believe it’s called. Waiting for the end of her labored breaths and a sad episode in the Sanders family history.  One moment I was willing her to pass on and the next hoping she might not.

During the course of the night I came to the conclusion that eight year old Mandy Sikes and thirty three year old Amanda Sanders still have a few things in common. A deep hatered of the uncertainty of life and a desire for control. Two things that stand in the way of Christian growth for sure and just flat out make everyday a lot harder.

As I am writing this post, Poppy is much improved. Milling around the house, sniffing a Pop- Tart Box expectantly. However, instead of being overjoyed at her apparent change of fortune, I find myself guarded. Suspiciously evaluating her every movement. Mmeasuring each labored breath, while mentally comparing it to her normal healthy gulps of air.  I am tempted to be fearful. Unable to enjoy her energy boost and secretly wondering “Will tonight be the night? Tomorrow?” .

Tempted… but not taken. What Amanda knows, that Mandy did not, is profound. God is the one who is in control. I have nothing to fear. If Poppy lives through this or she doesn’t, it’s out of my hands.  Trying to control just makes me miserable and ruins the sweet moments of life. 

So tonight I will sleep. Knowing that letting go of control isn’t just a good idea, it’s the only way to peace whether you’re eight or thirty three.  God is good, all the time.

I am not proud of my people pleasing past. I admit that I have done many unsavory things in order to keep the “peace” in my life. I have sold things I did not want to sell to people who did not want to buy.  I have sat through sales pitches for items I did not intend to purchase because I didn’t want to “hurt” any one’s feelings. I confess to using the verse “Blessed are the peacemakers” as an excuse to endure things I should not have endured. I have taken pride in the titles Least Likely To Say No and Non Boat Rocker.

 There is nothing harder on a People Pleaser, recovering or in denial, than the Holidays. Folks are everywhere! Wanting, needing things that they are certain only you can give them emotionally, physically and even spiritually. Do you suffer from this addiction? Here is a handy little checklist to diagnose the symptoms.  (Admitting we have a problem is the first step in recovery People)

1.  Overbooked:  Are you on tweleve  sub committees, seven inquiry panels and three nonemergency phone trees? Do you have commitments to Save the Blind Snow Birds, Houses without Shingles and Gardeners Without Borders? If you have to hide in the bathroom at church because you can’t say “No, thanks. I have enough fundraising popcorn.” without suffering heart palpitations, you’re into people pleasing. So cancel that unfortunate membership you got roped into with Nudists, Not By Choice and give yourself a break.

2. “Let me think about it” isn’t in your vocabulary.  Go ahead. Try to string these foreign sounding words together.  I’ll wait…  Did you do it? It wasn’t that hard, right? Wait, you look sort of bluish. Somebody get some oxygen in here stat!

3.  I AM SO SORRY!  If you have ever apologised to a mugger, um…people pleaser. I have apologized for having tiny veins, big feet, too much facial hair, not enough blond highlights, cows that I did not own being out in the highway, snow, rain, salty bacon, contracting meningitis, a neighbors fallen tree, a perpetually late postal agent, runny eggs and lots of other things I had no control over. Sad, strange and true.

4.  I Don’t Know, What Do You Want To Do?  Here’s the deal. People pleasing addiction totally handicaps us when it comes to future planning. It’s next to impossible to know what we want to do, when our schedule totally revolves around other people and their whims. For instance, there was time I was unable to commit to virtually anything because I would need to run my agenda past so many people. Being sure to let their opinions dictate what my next move should be.  Needing clearance from your mother, dog walker, and clergyman before you can agree to meet a friend for a movie next month is a big red flag.  People Pleaser.

5. Restless Nights    Nights spent watching endless infomercials are usually the result of spending our waking hours immersed in people pleasing. Night time is the right time to be with the one you love now. Trust Ray Charles baby. Night time is NOT the right time to be obsessing over those you love or barely tolerate.  So if you know what a Neckline Slimmer does or own a Express Ready Set Go!, you might be a people pleaser.

6.  You Are Flat Out Exhausted.  Attempting to please others is a full time job with ridiculous overtime,  no salary, benefits or retirement. In fact, it’s such a poor career that you will be emotionally bankrupt in no time. Angry Stressed Person will replace your name on your drivers licence. Little kids will cry when they have to walk past your house.  Not a good choice for a productive livlihood, I know.

7.  You Are Thinking About Running Away From Home  Look, when we are seven and we want to go join the circus because we have had enough, it’s normal.  Cute even. Finding yourself applying for the position of Bearded Lady or Alligator Jim with Carney Folk at the age of 37?  There’ s a problem somewhere.

Removing oneself from the role of people pleasing is much easier than a lifetime spent surrounded by questionable corn dogs and foul funnel cakes. Sharing a bunk with a man named Rubel The Sword Eater and a nine legged cat is not a good way to live out the rest of your days on this earth. I think. Don’t quote me on that.

If you can identify with any of this rambling…bless your heart! People pleasers of the world unite! Of course we’ll have to decide on a time.  Everyone check everyone else’s schedules and get back to me.  Unless that is being too bossy. Okay, I will contact you.  Maybe, “contact” is too aggressive. I don’t want to bother you.  I think I am bothering you right now! I am so sorry.   ; )

I love to laugh and if you have ever personally met me, you already know that.  The only thing I love more than laughter, are those who induce it. Laughter is absolutely one of the best gifts God ever gave us.  So to celebrate my birthday, I am going to share a list of some of the people who have consistently given me the gift of laughter this past year.  Thank you all for making this last year lighter and brighter for me!

#11 Brian Nicklaus, aka The Blog Prophet  How could I have left out Brian in my original post? Well, honestly I was afraid of freaking him out since I have only met him once in person. Come to find out you can’t freak out the Blog Prophet! So here, at number eleven, the man who makes me laugh repeatedly…BRIAN NICKLAUS!

#10- Steve Tucker  People have you heard this man laugh? He has the most contagious laugh in the history of mankind. Such a blessing. 

#9 Trey Morgan Go read about him trying to snuggle up to his wife at funeral and tell me that isn’t hilarious! Or how about the time he got a full body shot of Grandma at the hospital? Top that! I dare you.

#8 Patrick Mead  I have gotten to personally talk with this man twice.  Once in the dark, by candle light ( I can explain…) and once as a guest on A Better View. Both times I have been so tickled I was sore the next day. (I can explain about that too.)

#7 Paula Harrington I cannot tell you how funny she is people. If you have never heard her story of how she got mixed up and used the word “Necrophilia” instead of  “Nepotism” while trying to bond with a new friend, you are missing out. (I know you are thrilled I mentioned this Paula)

#6  Sarah Stirman You can try, but you won’t be able to outwit her. In fact, just ask her about Walmart selling caskets online, for a sample of her dry humor. Or maybe you have an old bathtub lying around and a serious need for landscaping. Talk to Sarah. (Your welcome Sarah!) 

#5 Dusty Rush  It doesn’t matter what the conversation starts out like, I am going to end up laughing with this man. He is endlessly funny. If you don’t know him, go befriend him. Your life will be better for it!

#4 Zane, Zeke and Zack Sanders! You three won’t  read it now, but someday you might stumble upon this post. Granted it will be in a strange and archaic form of communication, like cave drawings, by the time you are old enough to appreciate it. I want you guys to know that you all have made me laugh everyday on purpose and accidentally and in your underwear mostly.  It has been blissful. Thank you.

# 3 Angie Burns I cannot imagine a world without her now that I have gotten a taste of life through Angie’s eyes. She is  the funniest/ most fun girl I have ever known! For those of you that don’t know her, a sampling of how her mind works. Regarding deer season, ”Not tonight, deer. I’m sorry, but I think how hunters take advantage of deer during rutting season is just plain cruel. Not for killing them, but for getting their hopes up.”

#2  Greg Sanders Oh what can I say about this man to do justice to his sense of humour? Words fail me, allthough he would say “Well, that’s a first!”, then wink at me.  He loves to entertain me. Endlessly. He has done all kinds of things that to make me laugh over the years. Some I can’t repeat…but whether he is hanging like a monkey from a tree, subsequently falling out of said tree and injuring himself, or modeling a zebra print Snuggie as part of a Manliness Fashion Show, he is blessing me.  I intend to spend many more years laughing and carrying on with this man on earth and someday in Heaven.  (If you get a place next to ours up there, know we will be loud. Fair warning!)

#1  God.  He has totally rocked my world this year. Turning lots of my sorrows into dancing as only He is able. (Reminds me of a song!)  He has provided me with joyous and unexpected opportunities. Not to mention grand folks with whom to enjoy His grand blessings. I have spent much of this last year laughing and saying to Him “Once again, You have blown me away. I am so unworthy..but oh so grateful!” 

If you didn’t make this list…TRY HARDER NEXT YEAR!  Just kidding. There have been so many of you who have made me giggle, were I to list, it would stretch into next weeks post. Thank you all for putting up with me and being kind enough to share a laugh. God Bless!

She: “Mrs. Sanders?  This is Mrs. Teacher. How are you today?”

Me: “Fine. Thanks. ” Guarded and slightly nervous.

She: “Well, that’s good. I am calling to tell you that Zeke has been chosen to receive the Elementary Thankfulness Award.”

Me: “What? Really? Thank you!”

She: “Well, here are the details for the special awards assembly on Friday…”

I need to be honest. I am off the wall proud of that kid. Of all the things one could be recognized for,  thankfulness might just be the best ever, in my opinion.

Being a thankful person ensures that regardless of the curves that come your way in life, you thrive. Not just survive. Knowing things could have been worse, despite the darkness of the day.

Thankful people are generous. Giving whatever they have, even when it’s not much, because they know that God has blessed them extravagantly and will do the same tomorrow. 

Being thankful makes it possible to love others. Daily confrontations with our own shortcomings, covered abundantly by the Grace of God, makes it easier to forgive that kid who knocked you down and called you ” CRY BABY”.  Whether you are six years old or sixty five.   

I foresee great things in his future and I am so very thankful I get to be his mom.  Did I mention how proud I am of this kid?          

Sarah, Paula, Steve and I asked Patrick for his take on everything from raising kids to ministry.  He was gracious enough to speak from the heart about issues that we all face. Not to mention the Marines, Walmart door greeters, Heaven, and housework as an aphrodisiac.  (You’ll have to listen for yourself)

So if you have a minute,  go HERE. If you don’t have a minute…go HERE anyway. :)  I promise you,  it will be worth your time.

2.  The Wallflowers have blossomed. It is a glorious thing to find that the painfully shy are now social butterflies. Freed from the constraints of face to face conversation, these folks are a barrel of fun.

3.  Revolution Baby!   You get to be part of a movement like An Arbitrary Number of People Demanding That Some Sort Of Action Be Taken!   The perfect place to vent all your blind fury at someone or something that may or may not be offensive, at one time or another. A community full of such wisdom as “Down with that sort of thing!” from Peter Sinclair.  Gold people!

Who cannot be moved to action by Angela Hunter’s words “It has come to my attention that action should be taken by so many individuals in this very group, how many? We cannot say. When do they need to take action? As soon as can be reasonably allowed within a time frame relevant to their daily lives. This will not stand – it needs a sit down and cup of cocoa. ” My heart swells and my head hurts just thinking about it!

Special thanks to Tim Rush for leading the way to enlightment.  

4. Family - Very few of us get to live by family anymore. The curse (for some) of being a mobile people is that we loose those connections to where and who we come from.  On Facebook I see pictures of cousins, aunts and uncles that otherwise would not be a part of my daily life.  My kids get the benefit of knowing that there are people in the world who love them from long distance.

5.  Friends, Friends and Friends  You had no idea you were so popular until Facebook put a number out there for you to comfort yourself with in the dark, lonely hours of the night.  Proudly displayed, every single soul that has agreed to publicly admit  knowing you, even casually. All your friends, forever. Or until one of you blocks the other.  A beautiful thing.  

6.  Pictures   My dog, your cat, our kids, crashes, fires, flowers, footed Sock Monkey pajamas, Pet Snuggie…all seen on Facebook. Pictures that we are compelled to post reveal as much about those who take time to offer their two cents. Let’s face it, sometimes it takes a village to figure out exactly what the  Happy Zebra  your son drew at school was so happy about.  Thanks to those who let supper burn on the stove while we figured that one out.

7.  You see Jesus Everywhere   You really do. There are chemotherapy updates met with love and commitments of prayer. Flat tires admissions draw offers to help. Strong opinions are met with even stronger doses of grace. Misunderstandings are laughed over. Confess that you yelled at your kids this morning,felt crummy all day, and three other moms will step forward to attach themselves to your status.  

There are cries of joy, cries for help and everywhere opportunities to love others.   So what are you waiting for? Go join Facebook already!