1. Ask him, “Do you think I am fat?”. Repeat at least seven times per day.
2. Insist that he wear only the clothes you buy for him. Especially chenille sweaters. Lovely.
3. Take him with you to buy new couch pillows. Spend eight hours choosing the perfect ones. Decide in the checkout line you’d rather buy new curtains. Return home empty handed.
4. Question his taste in friends at least twice a week.
5. Sigh. Disgustedly. Often.
6. Look lovingly at him and ask, “What are you thinking about?”
7. Expect his response to be, “You, dear. Only you.”
8. Assume he knows why you are angry.
9. When he asks what is wrong with you, say, “Nothing.”
10. At least once a week, during prime time television, tell him you’d like to talk about your “feelings”.
11. Tell your friends every detail of your marriage. Tell your man what your friends said.
12. Always assume that unless you tell him to do something, he will not do what needs to be done.
13. Call him Pumpkin, Sugar Daddy, or Big Boy in front of his friends and co-workers.
14. Tell his boss that he’s really a big softie and cried during Titanic.
15. Talk about your “cycle”.
16. Obsess over all his ex-girlfriends.
17. Talk about the kids during foreplay.
18. Take EVERYTHING personally.
Okay, let’s hear it. What are some more ways to turn a man off? I know that you all have some good ones…