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This morning I read Brian The Blog Prophet’s post requesting suggestions on how to make spiritual applications/illustrations from Zombie movies.  This by the way, is just one of the reasons that I read his blog.  He thinks outside the box, and I love those kinds of thinkers.

His question sent me down the path I am going to call “You can learn a lot from dumb movie characters” or “Spiritual Pain In 5 Easy Steps”. 

1.  Talk Big  Ever notice how the first one to die in a horror movie is usually the one who has not shut up since opening credits? These guys, and girls, tend to be full of bravado.  Quick to call the more cautious “Chicken” or worse.  They say things like “I’m not afraid of the Headless Hitchhiking  Truck Driving Cemetery Caretaker. “ Yet, they should be.  If you want to be hurt, talk big. Loud and proud. Does it every time. Humility saves.

2.  Let’s Split up Why? Why? Why must they do that? Don’t go off by yourself under any circumstances. There is safety in the right numbers. Satan, along with flesh eating Zombies, loves to separate the herd.  It makes picking us off so much easier when we are isolated.  Cluster. Find a group you can be accountable to and stick with them.

3.  Ignore the signs of danger  Warning! Stop! Don’t do it! Horror movie characters hear these words and say “It’s go time!”.  So do Christians, sometimes.  We ignore that prompting that says we have entered into dangerous territory. We flirt, drift off into the gray areas…the next thing that our friends hear is our painful screams from the darkness.  Obey The Signs.

4.  Declare The Fallen Stupid  How many times does that happen?  “Yes Susan was bitten 434 times by vampires, but that’s because she was careless.  Stupid. Wore garlic powder instead of garlic cloves!”  It’s so, so easy to see how other people ended up strangled by sin, isn’t it?  WE saw it coming for them a mile a way, yet we don’t see it in our own lives.  Don’t assume others are more sinful than you happen to be.  You’re likely to be blindsided.

5.  Run Aimlessly When Trouble Strikes  How can a Mummy covered in a thousand tangled rags outrun a lithe teen girl? How can an obviously Asthmatic man wearing a ski mask, in utter darkness, carrying a twenty five pound chainsaw and sporting a noticeable limp climb stairs faster than everyone else? Because the prey panics. They run aimlessly, frantically.  Making more trouble for themselves and giving the Enemy even more ammunition.  If you are in trouble, stop trying to make things better on your own. Stop thrashing. Sit down and wait for God.